I made it through another birthday

Well April 19, 2010 was John's 23rd birthday but he wasn't here to celebrate. He passed away 3 months before his 21st birthday. I took 2 Heinekins, 3 red Solo plastic cups, a bottle opener, a birthday balloon, a candle and some freshly picked roses and azaleas to his grave. My husband, daughter and I lit the candle and toasted to John. I couldn't get through the toast without crying but it made me feel better. We poured a little of the beer on his grave. I know he would want us to go on with our lives and be happy. It's hard even believing that my son, my sunshine, my little "sug" (short for sugar), is gone. But I think I'm doing better. Although at this moment I'm drinking gin & juice, I have gotten over my Ambiens with beer and wanting to sleep all the time. I'm really going to try to revamp this blog, exercise more, read more, do volunteer work and even try to get the word out about how dangerous mixing prescription drugs with alchohol is. I can relate to it all too well. If there is one family I can help so they won't have to go through what I've been through, it'll be worth it. Pray that my daughter will get along alright.