torn different ways

Hi everyone and happy new year. Sorry I haven't posted in a while. It's been busy with going to see relatives, taking down the tree, starting back at work after a 2 week holiday, etc. I've been in and out of a depression. I stopped taking my Pristiq because I ran out of my pills and there weren't any more refills. I know I must have missed a Dr's appt. because they always get close to running out when I go to see him. I've been really bad in the past year or so, not writing down appts. and forgetting things. The year of 2008 went by and it was like a blur to me. I guess I just go through the motions of doing things when I get depressed and I don't even realize it.I would make an appt. to go back to the psychiatrist and get back on my medicine but I kinda feel like it's not working anyway. Some coworkers and friends of mine went out to eat the other day, and I felt like I was an observer instead of a participant in the conversations. I'm not very talkative and I'm not assertive so I hate to try to jump in and interrupt anyone, but I'm not going to beg to get my voice heard. I've always been that way. I have groups of friends that are very laid back, talk very little about nothing really important and they don't really give a damn about what they say (I call these the "real" people). Then I have a group of friends that always know the right things to say, are up on current events, more uptight about work, money, etc.. and never say anything unless it's politically correct. I'm always torn between these groups. I just like to sit at home and watch old Alfred Hitchcock movies with popcorn and beer. I'm just not that social. My daughter and my husband fight all the time about who is the best driver. We were going out to eat yesterday and she wanted to drive and take her car. Boy, I think she was on something because it was raining and she wasn't slowing down for those curves. So they started arguing. I'm always in the middle-he says I should have taken up for him and she says that I know he's a bad driver. Anyway, I decided we'll all go someplace in separate cars from now on. I can't handle being torn.